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What You See is Not Always What It Is
by Paula Lonergan
Vol 4 Issue 1

Another person and I had a little misunderstanding. I'll just leave it at that without going into details. It's all straight and cool now. However, it was a learning experience for me.

You see, I was unknowingly doing something to irritate this person, without even realizing it. I really had no idea to the extent it bothered the person. I would not have done it, if I had known. It was seemingly a minor thing in my eyes. I would have changed, if I had known.

In our discussing it and working it out, this person told me some things about myself. The person said I was "this and that." And I felt "this and that." And I thought "this and that."

It totally surprised me, all the things she thought that I "was", "felt", and "thought." For the things she said were not the things I was, felt, and thought. It showed me how much easy it is to misinterpret a person and their intentions.

Granted, it is true we can sometimes be the last one to see our own faults, idiosyncrasies, and wrongs. It is very important to be self-aware and humbly recognize that we truly are on the inside.

At the same time, it is good when it comes to our relationships with others, not to look at the outside and assume that is all that makes up a person. No, we are a result and affected by our upbringing, our experiences -- good and bad, our environment, our mental state, our physical health, and more.

What can seem to be one thing or one way is not always the case. A person may seem to be one way or another. If you don't look close enough, listen hard enough, or care long enough, you may find yourself making the wrong conclusions about another. It pays to ask, to listen, and to communicate. That is the key -- communication. Without it there is so much potential for problems. Communication brings about an understanding, an understanding bring tolerance. And if you both work hard enough, it also creates friendship or maintains friendship or helps a friendship to blossom.

What you see is not always what it is, so look beyond the surface, you may be pleasantly surprised at what you find.

Copyright 2003 Paula Lonergan.
All rights reserved.